WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 20.001 - YES, ANOTHER UPDATE
By the way...remember everything we just said below? Well forget all that...we decided to just sell out instead. It's easier that way.
The ultimate in money waste-ation
Yes of course this is for real...
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 20 - YES, AN UPDATE
It appears our top-secret strategy of 'doing nothing' for 3 months did not work, as Karyn collected her $20 grand. And we never really got enough money to do all the cool stuff we wanted to do. And apparently Karyn was on the Today Show again and has some kind of book deal in the works. So this is a dark time indeed in light of these developments. Very dark. Darker than the day that Titanic became the top-grossing movie of all time at the box office.
Despite what all you Don't Save Karyn haters may think, we are original and Karyn is not. Karyn was never really that original at all. Long before she existed, there were Internet begging sites. Yahoo had a category for them long before Save Karyn ever existed. What is unique is someone who can use humor to create a satirical social commentary about someone who obviously can't manage money at all. After all, let's put things in perspective: According to what we've read, Karyn was making $70,000 or more a year as a television producer when she ran up her $20 grand in debt. Assuming that's true, that's literally, more than what 99.4% of the world's population makes in one year. And yet, making more than 166 out of 167 people in the world, she still, apparently couldn't live within her means. Figure that out...:)
As far as the future of Don't Save Karyn, we will probably continue to do updates from time to time to keep people informed on the latest crap going on, although probably only on a very sporadic basis (i.e. no daily fucks).
BTW, you can still feel free to send us money if you want...if nothing else we'll need it to pay for the site fees. And if we get enough...yes we will try to use it for a nuclear strike on Karyn. :)
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 7 - QUESTION MARKS...THE NEXT EXCLAMATION POINT??
As you can see there was no week six update as originally predicted. Bummer, we know. And as you can also see there hasn't been a ton of updating the last week or so on this website. See it's sort of like this: Remember when you got that new Megatron transformer for Christmas which was really cool for like 3 weeks and then you got bored with it? It's kinda like that...but...not really...
In other news, it appears that Karyn's website traffic decreased a lot this past week. Could this be because of the Karyn bashing efforts of ourselves and other similar sites?? In a secret meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Karyn Bashing held in the War Room of the 14th underground level of Anti-Karyn Central Command in Nebraska, the official conclusion was: "Probably not, but let's take credit anyway." Also it was determined that Wing Attack Plan 'R' is definately the way to go, should Interkarynistic Nuclear War ever break out.
Lastly, there's supposed to be an article in this weekend's People Magazine about Karyn. We have reason to believe that this website will be mentioned, and if you're lucky, they might even reveal Ben's true identity (hint - not a hot chick in an Atari shirt with large breasts :( ).
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 5.7142857 - EXCLAMATION POINTS: NOT FUN ANYMORE?
Welcome to the fifth point seven one four two eight five seventh week of existance of Don't Save Karyn!! I'm sure you're all wondering why there wasn't a week five point zero update on Thursday, aren't you?? The reason is partially because Ben was lost in the backwoods of Colorado, far, far away from home. There he met a wise Yoda-like creature who trained him in the ways of a Karyn Bashing and told him that he must confront Karyn once and for all! But then the drugs wore off and it turned out it was just a hapless marmot.
In actual real news, you will notice that we actually did waste some actual money recently on some rather interesting (actual) stuff! Visit the Grand Spending Tally and see for yourself - We are not making this up, we really did get off our lazy asses and do something! We also have a section within the 'Buy Our Crap' page where you can buy even more crap - in other words, an online store! And we didn't even need the help of any computer company with pretentious techie-oriented commercials and some suave sounding asshole in the background saying "can you afford the downtime?" to do it!!
We would post more right now, but the week 6 update is like...5 minutes away, so we are going to instead just stop typing right ab...
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 4 - WHAT'S UP WITH THOSE UPSIDE-DOWN SPANISH EXCLAMATION POINTS?
Welcome to the fourth weekly update! First of all, we've noticed that this website seems to get more traffic during the week than on the weekend. Get back to work slackers!! You're ruining the economy!
As far as happenings this week, first of all you'll notice that there are two new parts of the web site! First is 'Buy Our Crap', where you have the chance to buy Official Crap (tm) owned by Bob and/or Ben! This is a once in a lifetime (of a mayfly) opportunity! The second new part of the website is the 'Propaganda' section, where you can download some official Don't Save Karyn propaganda and print it out. Personally we think it's pretty cool, but then again, we just got done being lobotomized and brainwashed like that dude at the end of 'Brazil', so what do we know.
In other news, Ben gathered more info on a George W. impersonator. Whether we will we be taken seriously enough to actually get a serious response remains to be seen...seriously dudes. Whether we would have enough money anyway also remains to be seen...but we *have* made like $186, and we thank everyone who has donated to the cause of Karyn bashing as well as wasteful and probably hedonistic expoits. Expect some burnage to be posted during the current week.
Finally, in case you didn't know, Karyn appeared on TV a couple weeks ago, and people have been emailing us her old phone numbers, addresses, and other assorted personal information. Please stop sending us this stuff...we do not condone your internet stalker behavior. Weirdos.
However, we do appreciate any pictures you have of her...
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 3 - EXCLAMATION POINTS ARE STILL FUN!
Welcome to the third weekly update!! I bet you were all expecting an update yesterday, weren't you! Well too fucking bad!! Them's the breaks, kid!
From last Thursday up until yesterday (Wednesday), we got 63,380 hits to this site. We suspect, however, that it was really more than this, because our FastCounter was fucked up. Gee imagine that...something made by Microsoft not working as advertised...
Lots of stuff has gone down in this past week. We did 3 live radio interviews, one for BBC Five Live's 'Up All Night', one for some show in Coffs Harbor, Australia (Alex and Petula for Breakfast), and one for some radio station in Seattle, WA! All of them were complete disasters, of course!
Also, in case you didn't notice, all sections of the website are now active! We are no longer like one of those sorry-ass websites you see on Geocities that are perpetually under construction! And we also got a new web server with NO MORE POPUP ADS...however feel free to keep sending emails and complaining about them if it helps your self-esteem!
Finally, we've made about $100 total, minus that $6 that Bob wasted. We have not yet gotten around to wasting money on booze as mentioned earlier, or mailing Karyn potato salad. Mainly this is because we are lazy, lazy bastards, and we're also holding out for the strip club. However we did come up with some other ideas that we be ultra-sweet...but most of them will cost a lot of (your) money:
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 2
Hello and welcome to our second weekly update!! Even though an entire week hasn't passed yet! That was a sentence fragment, wasn't it!!?
Due to the fact that Bob managed to get a link of this site onto Unclestupid.com, we have had a minor increase in web traffic. Only a one-hundred fold increase, though....no biggie.
We are pleased to announce that we have made more money in our first week than Karyn did! Like $13! We're so happy that we are now going to devote an entire line just to exclamation points! And here it is:
We don't know what to make of this, but word on the street is that there are actually media-type people talking to Karyn about a book or maybe even some sort of TV or movie thing...we are not making this up!! In fact we're probably going to get in trouble for bringing it up! But that's good, because we desparately want to be portrayed as villians in this new book/documentary/movie!
As far as spending ideas for the money we've gotten, we have a couple low-budget ideas we're tossing around for this week. One involves mailing a large can of potato salad to Karyn's P.O. Box...and the other involves us getting piss drunk in a bar off of triple shots of Jamesons. Of course any better ideas would be welcome, so feel free to send an email.
WEEKLY UPDATE - WEEK 1
Hello! Welcome to our first weekly update! As you already know from reading other parts of this site, we are determined to waste your money in the most spectacular fashion possible! We already wasted $20, but that was our own money! Exclamation points are fun!
If you've come here debating whether you should give money to us or Karyn, I would suggest that you think about this: Wouldn't you much rather make a statement against people with no self-control who don't know how to live within their means? If so, you've come to the right place: Give us your money! We promise to spend it in the most irresponsible and outlandish ways. Hell, we might even embezzle some of it behind the scenes in an elaborate racketeering scam! Of course, we don't even know what racketeering is, but rest assured that it does not involve helping starving children in Africa. The possiblities are endless when it comes to wasting your money! So what are you waiting for...donate now!!